Samuel L Jackson in Chinatown

Channing, Samuel L. Jackson remembers us....
i cant remember how long ago the goon meet was.
did you know that he was a vietnam vet?
his wife died of breast cancer and he's 52 yrs old.

ironic things said tonight,
"this has been real"
"indubitably"

i am missing a certain somebody immensely at this moment.
one could say it's the slowwwwwww coals of love.
he lit the fire, kindled the wood and tended to it when it was necessary.
Chad was told that this man was the only man i feel so strongly
about atm that i would slap Him in the face if need be.
whether we are near or far it's the same. i love Him the same
and this is freedom. i will never love another person at the cost
of me.

He Ate from My Plate

our first encounter,
i ate from His bowl a
white porcelain moon half
served with spaghetti not very well
made or fashioned because
we were too busy pointing out constellations.
He stopped time for me.
rooms to be introduced,
photographs to be explained.
a test, for sure, he walked around; without a shirt
He traced his tattoo, poke poke hip to back.
Moo Oleo: Regeneration, Growth and Reality;
i brought to him my brightest stars in return.

He lined a plate with olive oil,
salt and pepper to taste
for some meat.
Cosmos made with his pointer and middle finger--
i turned away in embarrassment.
He wouldn't eat with me,
and he didn't dare touch me.
Clever seduction.

Our second encounter,
He ate from my plate,
the onolicious poi and meat i had left half
eaten and only because i offered these scraps to him.
fire water in warm bellies,
chili oil on well seasoned lamb.
he offered these things to me,
and i took it willingly.

it wasn't in the kiss,
it wasn't his material but it was in the first bite.
Canines into oatmeal chocolate cookie,
He is something to be felt not understood.
He had approached me
with reverence, looking for forgiveness
and i gave it to him we both knowing that i do not forgive
and i do not give my time so freely.

will continue this later when i have attention span...

IRREGULAR CHOICE HONOLULU

strangers have been fucking up my life
so i seek solitude but i wont get it until monday.
here's a list of things that i've discovered in
the past week or so in my times of solitude:

1. i hate routines but routinely seek the comfort of rituals and habits.
2. nobody is "normal" and if you say you are, you are a fucking liar.
3. Alice Smith is excellent.
4. i am anti- hype but i shouldn't have been so anti- Audrey Kawasaki.
5. your worst fears will come true; so somehow i have to learn how to let go.
6. kissing boys is lots of fun, this makes me a makeout slut.

Fail Marathons

here i am again. this is where it all began many, many years ago
as Sully Yu. oops! i've uncovered myself.

i can't be anything i'm not.
i am a writer; i am a poet, a writer of fictions and a college educated
person as denoted by the use of the semi- colon (<3 Vonnegut).
i cannot paint you something beautiful, although my doodles are expressive.
my singing is B+ at best and B- at worst.
my cooking is fucking awesome and i am your best friend.
watch your ass in Azeroth!

tonight:
there were firefighters and ER techs in my kitchen living room.
dad was stressed out and i was afraid he was having a heart attack
so off to the ER we go. stress will get to ya. his lungs are fine although
he's a heavy smoker. lucky bastard.

i've never seen my father's chest so heavy,
legends say he cried when he had to leave me in Seoul
to immigrate to the States. a few years ago
he said he couldn't live through the infidelity.
he too cannot live a half a life.
half on land, half at sea, he's weathered.

tonight
he said
he couldn't handle it anymore and that he cannot take my money.
it was pride that came before the fall!
then again it's pride that keeps the shirts on.
i will tell you what it's like to hold your father and tell him
you need him to be alive.