Fail Marathons

here i am again. this is where it all began many, many years ago
as Sully Yu. oops! i've uncovered myself.

i can't be anything i'm not.
i am a writer; i am a poet, a writer of fictions and a college educated
person as denoted by the use of the semi- colon (<3 Vonnegut).
i cannot paint you something beautiful, although my doodles are expressive.
my singing is B+ at best and B- at worst.
my cooking is fucking awesome and i am your best friend.
watch your ass in Azeroth!

tonight:
there were firefighters and ER techs in my kitchen living room.
dad was stressed out and i was afraid he was having a heart attack
so off to the ER we go. stress will get to ya. his lungs are fine although
he's a heavy smoker. lucky bastard.

i've never seen my father's chest so heavy,
legends say he cried when he had to leave me in Seoul
to immigrate to the States. a few years ago
he said he couldn't live through the infidelity.
he too cannot live a half a life.
half on land, half at sea, he's weathered.

tonight
he said
he couldn't handle it anymore and that he cannot take my money.
it was pride that came before the fall!
then again it's pride that keeps the shirts on.
i will tell you what it's like to hold your father and tell him
you need him to be alive.