On Dating and Romantic Expectations

so my homie Chad and i were having an awesome dinner at Izakaya Naru, catching edamame, frying taco rice and talking shit. we weren't even drunk. we were post collegiate sober and there was a situation that just needed to be addressed. there just so happened to be some dude on a "date" with a well put together asian lady. i'm not going to peg her as Japanese just because i was in an Okinawan establishment and she just so happened to have black hair, yellow undertones and a fantastic body for a 30something. in fact, i wouldn't have even known her ethnicity if it weren't for her awkward as hell, forever alone-- perfect, date who kept saying stupid shit like, "your culture is so cool. you have anime, manga, samurai and the Shinkansen." as this faildate dinner theatre ensued, Chad and i couldn't help snickering, fuck even openly bringing ourselves to tears as the jabrony went on and on. it made me wonder if she was someone he had met without the aid of some small fortune. she was pleasant enough, made good conversation and kept good sport at each "oh i love your culturerrrruuuu" mouth diarrhea this dude kept spewing. he was trying soooooo hard to impress her. rule number one bro: DON'T PUT THE PUSSY ON THE PEDESTAL. she has a vagina, you have a penis, you want to put your penis in her vagina, if she likes you, this will happen, if she doesn't like you, you can't put your penis in her vagina. simple. if i could have been his wingman/lifecoach/mo'sister this is the one simple thing i could impart to him. that trying really, really hard to impress someone, will often fail. anyone can smell fear and this dude reeked of it.